Beginning Again

It is with tremendous pleasure and HaKarat HaTov that Peri and I would like to welcome our little (OK not so little) baby girl.

She was born last night, weighing in at 3418 grams (7 lbs 8.5 oz; for those who speak American) 

She is the first of her siblings to make it into the 3 kg club.  She is the first of her siblings (and parents) to reach full term.

This has been a very difficult pregnancy. A special thank you to all those who helped keep life running as smooth as possible, with all the bumps along the way.

Peri and Jason

We Danced Round and Round in Circles

I was really nervous going into Yom Kippur this year. The last time I had tried to fast was 17th of Tammuz. That fast ended mid-morning when I almost went down. The meds I take require me to have balanced food intake throughout the day to avoid side effects. On top of that the panic attacks had returned. The day before Yom Kippur, I had a panic attack that was so severe I collapsed on the ice before allowing myself to bounce back. At one point I had been scared that if that ever happened they would never allow me to play hockey again. Fortunately, that is not the case.

I couldn't get a heter to eat from either my doctor or my Rabbi. I just focused on doing what I could. In the end it was one of the most enjoyable and meaningful Yom Kippurs I have ever had. Unfortunately sometimes when you take a huge leap forward you quickly take a small step backwards intsead of being able to carry on the momentum. That is the best way to describe the week of Sukkot.

Then on Sunday night, Simchat Torah had come around. Our family had our eyes set on enjoying this particular Simchat Torah for a long time.

The auction had wrapped up and the tables and chairs were being moved to set up for a night of dancing. A friend brought Shlomo over to me. I immediately took him and sang quietly in his ear the same words I sang to Channah on her very first Simchat Torah and every year afterwards until she was too old to dance with me. 

We danced round and round in circles as if the world had done no wrong
From evening until morning, filling up the shul with song
Though we had no sifrei Torah to gather in our arms
In their place we held those children, the Jewish people would live on
Am yisrael chai
 
I have written and told the story many times of why this song and Simchat Torah is so important to me including here and here. Shlomo and I danced together. I finally had that moment with my long awaited Sefer Torah.

Last Simchat Torah, Peri promised me that this year I would have Kol Nearim while holding my son in my arms. She made sure that she won the auction and that I would be able to have that special moment.

For the 3rd time in 5 years, I was under the tallit surrounded by children for that special Aliyah. Shlomo was in my arms and Channah was standing beside. With Channah's Bat Mitzvah coming up it was a moment that can never be replicated.  This Aliyah has transformed for me from one of sadness and hope to one of joy and happiness. All 3 of my children were there, to mark the occasion that even in the darkest hours we find a way to rebuild and find the happiness again. Just as the month of Elul, Rosh HaShannah, Yom Kippur we work on personal growth, we follow it up with the Simcha of Sukkot and Simchat Torah.

It happen to work out that over all of the Simchat Torah dancing I held two of our shuls 3 Sifrei Torah. I also held two of my three children. The day is about the death of Moshe and finishing the Torah and immediately transitioning to the very beginning with the creation of the world.

This year is one that is going to be filled with a lot of new beginnings. So far my family is off to a great start.

Bringing Home my Sefer Torah

Around the time Channah was born the Journeys 4 CD had recently come out. The songs from that CD accompanied me on many trips back and forth to the hospital to visit Rachel and Channah. One particular song that has clung with me was The Man From Vilna. 


Full Lyrics

We danced round and round in circles as if the world had done no wrong
From evening until morning, filling up the shul with song
Though we had no sifrei Torah to gather in our arms
In their place we held those children, the Jewish people would live on
Am yisrael chai





On Simchat Torah of that year I sang this song to myself as I danced with her. I continued to sing the song to myself every Simchat Torah.  The year Rachel was pregnant with Gabi was the first year Channah was too big to dance with me. I took consolation in the fact that I would have Gabi to dance with the next year. Of course that dream never came true, although I did have Kol HaNarim both Simchat Torahs before Rachel died.

At my Of Roof, Channah turned to Peri and asked her if she would give me a Sefer Torah. Sunday 
our Shannah Rishonah will draw to a close with our Hebrew Anniversary. This evening I got to bring home my Sefer Torah. Holding him in my arms brings me so much joy.

My Sefer Torah

First Night of Channukah

Tonight is the first night of Channukah. Which of course leads to the traditional question, why is this night different from all other nights?

For starters Peri has been in the hospital since last Tuesday. I am completely emotionally drained from the twisting drive to and from the hospital while trying to keep some sense of normalcy at home. Today I had to give myself a break and stay home.

It was also our little boy's first ever Channukah. Through the power of FaceTime we were able to have the whole family together for candle lighting. Channah, me and the dogs were at home, while Peri and Blobby joined in from the hospital.

Afterwards Channah and I watched some Channukah music videos while we ate dinner. We had lasagna that was prepared ahead of time for when Peri was going to be in the hospital. We also had latkes that Channah made with her friend this afternoon.

We found this year's batch of videos to be disappointing compared to other years.  Of course this one still remains my all time favourite.




Blobby received medical clearance to come home this afternoon. Peri's status is still uncertain. There is a possibility that she could be sent home tomorrow. They may want to keep her a little bit longer.

The events surrounding the pregnancy and my son's birth has given me an entirely new dimension to understanding and appreciating the lessons of Channukah. If his Bris is over Channukah I will share them then. If not I will write about them in the next few days.

Baby Announcment and Pictures

It is with tremendous pleasure and HaKarat HaTov  that Peri and I would like to welcome our little baby boy.

He was born on Friday afternoon at 2:04 pm.  At 2198 grams (4 lbs 13 oz; same weight as when I was born) he is considered a Preemie.

This afternoon for the second time in my life I got to hold a live newborn baby.

We would like to thank everyone who has helped us along the way.

Peri and Jason

First Bottle

A note about posts about Gabbi

So as not to turn our family blog into a nightmare I have a separate place where I a posting my thoughts, feeling, arguments with God and rants pertaining to our recent loss. Please feel free to visit   http://mygabbi.blogspot.com/ but please be aware this is mostly writing for myself and to help clear my own head.  Much of it may not "follow the party line".  It might make me a bad Orthodox Jew, but it is what is keeping me human.

Stroller Shopping

When Channah was little we had 2 strollers.  The Graco Metrolight that we used the vast majority of the time, and a small umbrella stroller that we used when we wanted something really small and convienient.  By the time we left the umbrella stroller was falling apart, and since Channah did not use a stroller anymore anyway we just tossed it.

We brought the regular one intending to put it away in case we needed it again- and so we did.   The problem is that the old one is build for Toronto- oversized tires and a huge wheel base perfect for snow.  Large and heavy to stand up to wind.  Folds long and flat to fit well in a trunk.  Nice and stable for on buses.  The problem is all of those "features" turn into drawbacks when you live in a country where everything is tiny and narrow, and snow is not a regularly occurring phenomenon.  Not to mention that you can not keep strollers open on buses here, so I really needed something that would collapse very quickly and easily while holding a baby in the other hand.

So I started looking.  A few weeks ago I went to a Dr. Baby store and found one I thought I liked.  Umbrella fold, nice high handles for Jason.  Lightweight.  I came home and showed it to him on the website, and while I was on the site started looking at some other options and found another one I wanted to look at.

The end of season sale is on now so last year's models are currently on sale, and there was 150 shekel off the price of the one I liked, so Jason and I decided to go over after an appointment today to take a look.  We also looked at the other one.  It had every single feature of our old stroller- good canopy, decent sized basket, almost full recline, parent tray, kid tray/toy, good wheels etc, but is roughly 1/3 the size and only half the weight.  Oh, it also can still hold Channah should we so desire (so can the old one, but this one hold roughly 5 kilo more).  It also has some  removable pieces so that if we need to make it even smaller for a small car or whatnot, it reduces to roughly half the size of the old stroller.  It has a huge all season canopy that comes right down to the front bar to block both sun and wind.

We bought it on the spot.  This is the one that will iy'H be coming with us on our next trip to Toronto.

Oh, did I mention it is bright, eye piercing apple green?  At least we are not likely to lose it by accident.

Presenting the Dr. Baby Paris.  http://www.doctorbaby.co.il/gallery_image.asp?PageNum=2&return_parent=168&gallery_id=338

Also has a 3 year bumper to bumper REPLACEMENT warentee (so if it goes back we leave the store with another stroller and are not left strollerless) good across the country.

Old and new side by side for a size comparison 

Little updates

Firstly- as of last night this baby is officially more patient than it's older sister was.  This pregnancy is now longer than the last one was and every day is twice the bracha it was until now!

Secondly- here the school kids dress up for purim katan during adar aleph.  Channah's class had to dress up as opposites.  Here she is as day and night.  She originally also had a sun crown to go with her moon belt but it was too scratchy.

Holy Crow

Today (well actually tonight) is the same point in this pregnancy as we were at when I ended up in the hospital before Channah was born.  Yes I am a bit of a mess.  On the other hand, I know we are on the lookout for any indication that something might be off and are way more on top of things this time round.  I also know that we are doing everything we can to avoid what happened last time.

Other than side effects from everything we are doing, I feel fine.  Of course, last time I was feeling great and at a friend's wedding the night before.  Yeah.  Makes me even more nervous.

This time being stuck in hospital would mean being at least an hour away from Channah and most likely not having regular contact in person.  Not sure I can handle that.  In fact, I know I can't handle that.

I am a bit of a mess.  I think I will pack a hospital bag tonight just in case.

If you don't mind, can anyone reading this spare a quick thought or prayer for keeping me home with my family as long as possible?  To me every day from this point out is twice the bracha it was until now (and it was a pretty big bracha to begin with.)

Thanks.

Another Doctors Appointment Another Trip to J-Town

This morning Rachel and I went to the doctor for one of her regular appointments at the OB. The doctor decided herself on something they were not able to get on the last ultra sound. The baby wasn't moving to her satisfaction. So I ran to buy an orange juice to try to wake the baby up. It didn't help, so the doctor told us to go to Haddasah Har Hatzofim to get an ultra sound with better equipment, as a precaution. We had to hurry as it was almost noon and we the technicians go home at 2:30. We went home quickly packed a travel bag and were on the 417 to the hospital. Arrangements were made for Channah to go to fiends after school.

We have had the route planned out for a while of getting off at Bar Illan and taking a bus from their. The only notification was to take a taxi instead. As we hit Jerusalem traffic we asked the driver if it was better to get off immeditaly and catch a cab, then wait out the traffic. He said we should have told him earlier because he would have suggested getting off at one of the first bus stops. Taxis don't go to Bar Illan because they know everyone is taking the bus. He then proceeded to try to flag down a taxi. At one point to save time he drove on a sidewalk (which had people walking on it) to get around a car that was blocking traffic. Eventually he told us to where to get off, to have the best chance of catching a taxi.

We get to the hospital and we completly lost as to where to go. The room marked Ultrasound was actually the office for checking in. Then I had to go downstairs to register Rachel while they began the exam. They found everything to be normal but the baby was not moving to their satisfaction. We then go to the entry area for Labour and Delivery. It was pure chaos as the doctors are dealing with multiple patients and we have not clue what is going on. Eventually they have a huddle of about 8 medical personal to decide what to do. As their is no space in the NICU, just in case we need it, she would be transferred to Bikor Cholim. In response to Rachel's pleas to go home they point out that it is so serious they are sending us by ambulance. About 15 minutes later they asked us if we had a car or if we needed the ambulance.

After more chaos and monitoring the give Rachel the Steriod shot (to help the babies lungs) and send on our way to try to figure out where the ambulance is. To stress the seriousness of the situation Rachel must go by wheelchair and someone would be waiting for us at the hospital.

We find the ambulance, which was more of a Hassaah then anything else. When we get near the hospital we get dropped off by the side of the road and get vague instructions on where to go next. Nobody was expecting us and we had to go through the full registration. Once signed in Rachel goes for monitoring.

After a few minutes of monitoring, I am told to leave the area because it wasn't tznius because woman also needed monitoring. I use the time to call some of our friends to let them know what is going on. One friend calls to say that she is about to get on the bus to come help us out at the hospital. As soon, as I hang up the phone the baby starts kicking. The friend arrives and I am once again thrown out of the room for a much longer period of time. This time the friend is able to keep me updated.

The end result is Rachel is staying in the hospital overnight in order to get the second shot of the steroid. They will also be doing monitoring during the day to make sure everything is all right. We are hoping that she comes home tomorrow or at least in the next couple of days. Channah as her Misibat Chumash on Thursday and we both want to be there.

random this and that

This morning Channah felt the baby move for the first time.  She was so excited it was awesome.


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So my (relatively) trusty laptop/tablet computer has been slowly but surely dying of old age.   First the fan went so I put it up on blocks so air could circulate through its lungs more freely.  Then the power cord went so I bought a new one and plugged it in to life support.  The optical  drive started to go- but lots of geriatrics need help with optics right?  Then the video card started to go, so I reset it often and pulled the battery on a regular basis because that seemed to help with  the symptoms.  I knew then that it was too far gone to treat the cause.  This week, the Hard drive started to wheeze.  I had actually planned on putting it onto a respirator- making boot disks and running on an external drive.

But with the dawning of the sun came the realization that it had so many diseased parts it really was more humane to euthenize it. And so, last night in one last puff of glory there was a huge thud as I tripped over the power cord and unplugged it one last time.  It had a long and productive life for its species- rarely has a laptop in captivity been known to thrive for so long under such hostile conditions.  (It was fed and watered regularly).

And thus through the natural cycles of life, a new lappy came into our home.  It is tiny as a newborn babe- actually smaller than most at only 9 inches and 3 lbs.  It has 250 gigs worth of storage space, and 2 gigs of memory.  It even runs good old windows xp in English, and has a warentee and service centres relatively local.  I also got an external dvd lightscribe (LG 20x) and a cooling pad (lets see how long this one makes it) for just under 1400 shekel (about $380 US).  

If anyone local is looking to get a new lappy of their own I *HIGHLY* recommend Ivory Computers (google for them.  They are huge and have branches in about 15 different cities).  I found them through zap.co.il and got personal recommendations from a few different geeks that I know.  

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Last night we decided to go with the old standard of Chinese for Christmas.  I made the best, low carby lemon chicken EVER.  Recipe will be on the other blog in in the next little while.