Birthday at Rosh HaNikra

It was my birthday, earlier in the week. I just wanted to get out of the apartment and do something that didn't involve walking around a shopping mall. We decided that it was a perfect day to take the 40 minute drive to the Lebanese border to witness 'a love story between the rock and the sea.'  At least that is what the signs said. After years of keeping it on our family to do list, we visited Rosh HaNikra.

We called ahead to make sure it would be family friendly and Corona safe. Although they said it was best to wait until the end of the day, we decided that we would go with enough time to enjoy our day and still be home at a reasonable hour. 

We arrived to find the parking lot closed. Cars were scattered up and down the roads. We took a short drive up the road, just past the sign warning that the border was up ahead. We were able to find parking that wasn't to far away from the entrance to the parking lot. 

View of parking lot from our car

 

We knew which direction to walk. We eventually found our way to the area for purchasing tickets for the cable car. We also decided to upgrade our tickets for an extra activity quasi off the beaten path. We were told that the cable car would be limited to 7 passengers and that it would be an hour wait to get to the bottom. So we headed over to the line, which was staggered into 3 sections. Staff walked through the line at regular intervals to make sure that everyone was still wearing their masks. We also saw some police officers who would have had the authority to issue the 500 NIS fine for not wearing them correctly.

The view while waiting in line

They were not joking about the wait times. We eventually made it onto the cable car, down to our destination. By that point it was lunch time and we were all really hot. We bought a few cold drinks and found a nice quiet spot, on astroturf with umbrellas to offer us shade. 

After lunch it was time to go into the grottoes.  They were absolutely breathtaking. The only issue I had was that there were way too many people who thought they were super models. Their efforts to take the perfect picture, inconvenienced everyone else. It was well worth it. 

After we finished in the grottoes, we walked through a tunnel. The tunnel was built by the British in 1942 to connect Beirut and Haifa, to allow the transfer of military supplies. It was blown up in 1947 to prevent Arab fighters from being able to reach Haifa. 

Shlomo spent the walk telling Hoodie and anyone who would listen that trains used to be here and then they turned it into a museum.

At the other end of the tunnel, our chariot was waiting for us. OK, it wasn't a chariot, it was a golf cart. We had rented it for 45 minutes as something fun and different to do. We were allowed to drive it as far as the nearby beach.  Peri and I took turns driving around and the kids also had fun checking out the area in our slow moving vehicle. Did you know that Israel has trailer parks? We also saw a tent, set up in the kids park, near the beach. I wonder what the story was there. 

From there it was back into the much shorter line up the cable car. We stopped for ice cream at the top. We then headed back to the car to pack it in for the day.  We made it home in time for dinner. 

I had a really great birthday. It was a really fun family tiyul.

Fresh Beginnings

For almost 8 years, Ramat Beit Shemesh has been my home. In that time the city has grown and changed a lot. Often for the better and sometimes, not so much. As much as I have enjoyed living here, it has been clear that our family needs a fresh start. 

For over a year, Peri and I have been actively searching for the best place for our family.  Our first choice was a community with a very limited rental market. That left us open to also considering some of the surrounding neighbourhoods.  We had a back up plan in case we could not find suitable home. 

For the past month we have been making multiple trips checking out apartments. A lot of the apartments were too small, re-emphasizing how lucky we are to be in a large apartment, even by the standards of this neighbourhood. 

One apartment I have started referring to as the Mafia building. The apartment was gorgeous. The 18 page lease was filled with clauses keeping the owner in full control of the apartment even though it was being rented. We negotiated most of them out of the lease. The clause that we should pay the structural insurance on the entire building as the deal breaker. We didn't even go as far as him wanting to have the insurance (including content insurance) to be with his insurance company with his name on the policy.  We decided not to enter a lease with an over-controlling, abusive owner.

Another one was a nice sized apartment that was not finished being built. It didn't have a bathtub or electricity. They hadn't applied for the Tofes 4 (building completion certificate) and it wasn't certain the electricity could be turned on before the move in date. The owners want to sell and were looking at renting as a possibility to eventually initiate a sale. The biggest selling point was the illegally built and walled in 120m of living space that could be opened up, upon purchase. In the end, there were too many variables in the air and it also fell through.

Yesterday, morning we signed a lease for our apartment in Kiryat Shumel. It is located in the flat part of Haifa, north of the city. The building is only 3 years old. One of the things that really impressed us, was how well thought out the apartment and the building was. It is going to be a great place for our family to get a fresh start. 

The keys to our future, without shlissel challah.

Every time I have been to Kiryat Shmuel I have fallen more and more in love with the community. I do have some fears about leaving the comforts of a community that has been really supportive over the years and ongoing. We need to be able to step outside of our comfort zones, if we want to grow and become better people. This move gives every single member of my family the best opportunity to grow and be the best that they can be. A fresh start is really exciting.

Watching the World Change

A trip to the cemetery on Erev Yom Kippor is a different way to experience and reflect on the upcoming day. There are the usual tables set up for people collecting money. Families with water bottles busy working on cleaning the kever of their loved ones. Just being surrounded by people who understand what it means to stay inside for Yizkor.

Then there are the changes that have taken place since the last visit. They are in the process of starting to build a new section in front of where Rachel is located. They also took a big chunk of the parking lot and turned it into a new section of the cemetery which already has a large percentage already full. I also noticed off to one side what looked like a kever for a baby. 

This year has been full of changes. My struggle for personal growth has been focused on life is different now. Challenges from the past remain in the past and although they may sometimes seem similar to ones I face now, I can handle them. Shlomo's birth has brought so much joy into my life. His bris was a reminder of just how much love is around me. Channah's entire class decided to surprise her by showing up to celebrate with her. Shlomo's daily 'Good Morning World' Facebook status have been constant reminders of how many people care about our day to day life. I had one friendship that was more than just burning a bridge. It was more like lighting the bridge on fire and then nuking the remainder to make sure it could never be repaired. This week the first steps were taken to rebuilding that friendship.

This summer we sent Channah to Canada for 6 weeks. It was a chance for her to spend time with all her different grandparents and build relationships with family that lives far away. It was an incredible experience for her and she grew up over the summer.

In the mean time over the summer we surprised Channah with a complete room makeover. The central focus on the changes was a bunk style bed with a desk underneath along with a super oversized brand new bean bag chair. Along with the new room we have given Channah a lot of responsibility to prepare her for the transition from Grade 6, to applying for schools for Grade 7 next year.

We have also been focused on putting together her Bat Mitzvah. In the end we have decided to do what is best for her by having a celebration in Israel for her friends and having something in Toronto over the summer for her family.

The biggest wake up call for me was friends making the decision to leave the neighbourhood. It was the one family that I really feel their absence.   Their absence is felt all the time. It really made me think about where my priorities should be for my family and the best way to attain them. With Channah needing to change schools and a lease coming to an end it is the perfect time to make the right transition.

Peri and I spent a good part of the summer looking at different communities. Evaluating the pluses and minuses of each community reflect where we see our future and what we would potentially have to give up to obtain them. It also confirmed what I already knew. This community has a lot of positives going for it, in spite of the local politics and incompetent administration. A decision has been made and we look forward to bringing it to fruition in the coming year.

During this time period there are 4 extra prayers into our 3 times daily Shmonei Esrei.  The first two ask for life. The third one is asking for a good life. Finally right at the end we ask for a good life with blessings, peace and prosperity. It is not that long ago that I went into Yom Kippor praying for 'time served'. All I wanted was life that just wasn't as much torture of it was up until that point. I have reached a stage where I don't just want life. I want a good life for my family that is filled with happiness where we can reach our potential. The fact that I can say that shows how much the broken pieces of my heart have healed.

Shannah Tova. Gmar Hatima Tova. Chag Kasher Sameach. May we not only be sealed in the book of life but sealed in the book of life for a good and prosperous year.

Turning Back the Clock

Last Monday marked the end of summer as Channah returned to school. Wednesday was another marker that we have moved out of the summer season as I returned to the hockey rink. A hand injury is limiting me to that one game until after the chagim. It is a good time to reflect on what had been a very busy summer.

The war in Gaza did dominate our lives to some degree.  A dozen scrambles to the Mamad (sealed room) and the sound of jet planes, helicopters and occasionally being able to hear artillery fire in the distance made the war much more real then just following the news. With some adjustments day to day life continued mostly as normal. It was disappointing that the war did cancel our trip to the beach in Ashdod that I had been looking forward to at the beginning of summer.

For the first time Channah was in camp for the whole summer.  The first 3 weeks she went to camp in the Rama. She walked there every morning and we picked her up in the afternoon. She really came out of her shell in interacting with other kids. She also fell in love with gymnastics which is going to be her chug for the year. When the 3 weeks were up she went to another camp a little bit farther away. Channah discovered she had natural talent in archery, learned to play baseball and was exposed to Tae Kwon Doe. There were regular reports from the staff about what a great camper she was. We also continued our regular home work routine through the summer. The combination has really paid off as Channah has been absolutely thriving in her first week and a half of school.

The summer was not quite as happy a time for our car Snowflake. The air conditioner finally kicked out and wasn't worth fixing.  Despite the relatively cool summer (most of the summer was in the mid 30s instead of low 40s), we decided that Snowflake could no longer take the heat. We purchased Zoom Zoom which was a slightly newer car that could handle the heat. It was a real upgrade for us. Aside from a working air conditioner it also came with a bigger trunk, working stereo, remote key entry and sensors when you are backing up. I went from trying to avoid driving whenever possible to enjoying driving.

Zoom Zoom

Our original plan for the summer was to find a new place to live. After a lot of searching we finally accepted that it was not economically feasible with skyrocketing rent in the neighbourhood. Instead we met with the owner of the apartment to negotiate a long term lease and some improvements to the apartment. Fixing up the apartment became the project of the summer.  Plumbing and electrical was fixed and our bedroom no longer has carpet. We painted the entire apartment. Changes have been made with rearranging or replacing some of the existing furniture.  It was a huge step for Peri and I to set up our new home together. We celebrated by having a Chanukat HaBayit at the end of the summer. Our apartment was filled with people who are extremely important in my life. Even my Rosh Yeshiva attended.

Earlier this year I started to have a tough time battling PTSD and depression. Having the safety and security of a stable home environment left me face to face with deep painful memories and fears. Through therapy and medication, I have come leaps and bounds in this battle. For the first time in a very long time I have been able to allow my self to have wants, hopes and dreams. More and more I am uncovering who I am and who I want to be. It is tremendously refreshing to once again see life as full of potential instead of just struggling with whatever is sent my way. 

Rachel and I were once on our way to wedding. One of the people in the car was talking about the recent birth of a child. They had thought they had been done having children and that their timeline for when certain life events that happen as children grow up had been set. Instead they had turned back the clock by a number of years, as they will not hit those milestones until their youngest child grew up.  We didn't know it at the time but Rachel was already pregnant with Gabi during the conversation.

This summer has been all about turning back the clock. I have an opportunity to start again and build a life for myself that I thought had been lost forever.  This summer was a glimpse at what potential my life has. It is refreshing to have so much to look forward to.    

The First Auf Roof

This morning was the beginning of the official wedding celebrations. My Auf Roof is the only event that will be taking place in Israel. (We are hoping to have something when we get home).  It was really important to share my joy with the community that has meant so much to me in the past 5+ years.

Friday night the excitement was already starting to build. When I got to shul in the morning, people just coming up to wish me mazel tov. I noticed one person who walked up from a neighbourhood that I consider to be too far to go on Shabbat. If I did I would choose to do the downhill walk there and get a ride home after Shabbat. If I had to choose someone to daven today it would have been them. Apparently the Gabai thought the same thing and gave him Shacharit. For Kedushah he used the tune when you are passing around the cup during Sheva brachot. It was amazing.

Then the Gabai asked me who I wanted to give kibudim. I was incredible looking around the room seeing all the people who are so meaningful to me. I made my choices. We had to make some revisions, but it all went smoothly.

I had my aliyah. The dancing and singing were really heartfelt as what seemed like an endless supply of candy flew through the air. Then it was time to make a Bracha that I hadn't made in 23 years. I did the brachot for the Haftorah, while the Gabbai's son leined it.

The Rabbi's drasha was about how could Yaakov be scared if he had God's promise not to worry. The answer was along the lines that he realized he made decisions without a clear answer and he was afraid if he made the wrong decision it would negate God's promise. He said that I have had challenges in life that would make most people throw in the towel and give up. It didn't matter if it was because of or in-spite of my experiences I have continued to grow as a person.  I am very proud of what I have been able to accomplish. From time to time it is nice to know that others see it too.

People from various walks of my life were at the kiddush. Two people came in from Jerusalem. People who normally daven at other shuls, some close, some far and people who are just ordinary people in the kehillah. People are just so happy and it just adds to the excitement I am already feeling. 

When I walked into shul, I stopped for a moment at the library in Gabi's memory. Also the Yahzeit board had one black spot exposed. That is Rachel's spot as her plaque is currently being engraved. Of course Rochel dying in the parsha also jumped out at me. One of Rachel's good friends made it a point to tell me she knows Rachel is happy.

The scar will always be on my heart. I am really looking forward to enjoying all the events around the wedding and building my life with Peri.   

A New Addition

Well, it has been a long time in coming and we have finally made the decision that it was time to move forward. The truth is that for a while now we have been feeling a little out of sorts- like something was missing from our lives. Something so pure and simple that you do not really notice it isn't there until you start getting sick and realizing that you just can't live any longer without it.

Yes, I am talking about pure, fresh water.

I know there are those who, out of principle, will not drink tap water in Israel. They think it is dirty or smelly or just do not like it. The truth is, in our old apartment I never had any trouble with the tap water. It tasted fine, did not have any particular smell, and overall was perfectly drinkable. That has never really been the case where we are now.

From day 1 here there has been weird stuff, little white flakes, floating in our water. If you pour a glass and let it sit you could get, quite literally 2-3mm of crud at the bottom of your glass- and the Brita did nothing to get rid of it. I could replace all the pipes for thousands of shekel in this RENTAL apartment, or I could find another solution. On top of that, for the last few months there has been construction going on outside our building and there has been even more crud, sand and debris floating in our water.

We had taken to buying bottled water anyway and were keeping it in our tiny and seriously overcrowded fridge. So Mei Eden was our happy solution. For what amounted to a difference of less than 10 shekel a month from what we were already spending, we could get it delivered to our door and cooled without needed to take room in the fridge.

To those still reading:  There will also be another new addition around here some time after purim.  :)  We are asking people to wish us a long and boring few months!