A number of weeks ago, I was driving home from hockey. My usual music was playing and the Rascal Flatts song 'My Wish' came on. As I drove along the dark, boring road of highway 6, my thoughts wondered to a conversation I had with a friend, on the morning of Rachel's funeral. As I was trying to put together a eulogy, I shared how Rachel connected to music and how this song, felt like her leaving a last message for me. In the end some of the lyrics made it into the eulogy.
As I carefully listened, it struck me that every single word still has deep meaning. It almost provides a map of how to interact with the past, present and future. It provides a good commentary of how I have put my life back together, after her loss.
Channah recently had a project for school on the Aliyah experience. She wanted to show the girls in her grade how far off their perception is. Channah and I spent a long time going through the blog together to help her jog her memory. It was very interesting as she shared her experience from her point of view, as a little kid, versus that adult issues that were beyond what any child needs to worry about.
As I sit here thinking about the song, I think of how the message was for how to raise Channah as well. Channah is Directing her school play. When Rachel was her age, she was directing The Wizard of Oz for a shul play. We also had hopes and expectations of what Channah would do upon completing high school. With our full support, Channah has chosen a different path because that is what is best for her.
I am proud of Channah. I know Rachel would be too. I believe I took the message she left behind and applied it appropriately. I hope that is enough to allow her Neshama to have an Aliyah.
