Thursday, September 12, 2013

Was Your Mechila Form Letter Accepted

Rabbi Orlofsky contrasts the difference between how bochrim act on Purim and going into Yom Kippor.

On Purim the drunk bachrim at the seduah tend to be very emotional and talk about their relationship with their Rebbe, Hashem and all kinds of other stuff. They ask for forgiveness and express their love for Torah and their Rebbe. There is lots of hugging and crying and true display of emotion.

Going into Yom Kippor things tend to go along these lines:

Bachur 1: Do you forgive me?
Bachur 2: No.
Bachur 1: Do you forgive me?
Bachur 2: No.
Bachur 1: Do you forgive me?
Bachur 2: No.
Bachur 1: Ha, Ha. You didn't forgive me. You are going to hell.

I even once saw this conversation go a step further.
Bachur 2: You missed Zman Kriyat Shema. You can't daven for me to go to hell.

As you can see the Achdut is just so beautiful.

In recent years, there has been a trend to post a general request for forgiveness, placing the onus on the person that may have been hurt or offended to bring feelings of ill will to the attention of the one seeking forgiveness.

There is still a major problem. After having heart warming, sincere apology seen by 2000 of your closest Facebook and Twitter friends you have only heard responses from maybe a handful of people. How do you know much 'mechila capital' you have on your side of the scale as you stand before Hashem seeking atonement. Perhaps there are relationships that were not fixed by your form letter that you are not aware of.

I have come up with a form letter that allows the requestee to know that their request has been received.

Dear Sir/Madam,
Thank you for sending your genuine and heartfelt request for mechila. Your request had been forwarded to my lawyer for review before I can evaluate your request. Normally processing time is 7 - 10 day business days. Due to privacy concerns details of the processing and outcome of your request cannot be disclosed. Please note: The processing of a mechila request has no affect on any legal disputes. If such a dispute does exist I encourage us to work it out together (if necessary with the assistance of a Rabbi or Beit Din)

I also request (although not incumbent on you) that you agree to a reciprocal agreement where I will be forgiven for any ill will or harm that I may have caused you, with or without the knowledge of either one of us.

Should you feel that this case needs to be processed faster or requires more personal attention, please feel free to contact me directly.

Thank You
Shana Tov
Gmar Chatima Tova
Chag Kasher Sameach

Please feel free to use your own modified version of this request to help with your spiritual growth and to improve the relationships with those people who are important in your life.

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