Eye had Enough

 It started 9 years ago on the morning of the second day of Rosh HaShannah. I woke up with a pain in my left eye like something was stuck in it. I couldn't make the pain ago away. I was given a Clonex that knocked me out for the rest of the morning. In the afternoon, I went to the Arab doctor who gave me a prescription for something. Of course it was Yom Tov, so I couldn't get it filled. 

The next day I found an optometrist. My cornea had blown out. It took medicine and a few days to heal. That has been the pattern ever since. I would put ointment in my eye whenever  I went to sleep. I had eye gel that I could use, if my eye was irritated during the day. From time to time my cornea would blow out. I would find a way to see my optometrist same day and begin the treatment cycle again. The day I was preparing for my wife's funeral, I went to see my ophthalmologist. We came up with a plan avoid a blowout during shiva that included trying to avoid crying with tears. 

When we moved north, I found someone able to follow the same patterns of monitoring and treatment. That also included finding alternatives when the ointment was discontinued and finding a way to fill scripts properly for an alternative that was added to the health basket, imported from Canada. 

Earlier this year, the cornea blowouts started happening in my second eye as well. A few days before Rosh HaShannah my cornea blew out again. For the first time, I had a second blow out before the healing process had been completed. My ophthalmologist suggested that I see a Cornea Specialist, with the intention of having laser surgery.

About a month later, my eye blew out again. For the first time in 9 years, my ophthalmologist was not available to take care of it. Maccabi found us a doctor who works out of a hotel in Haifa. He said that he had been examining eyes since before I was born. I believe that it was true and that did not offer me any comfort. He told me that the pain I was experiencing was the worst possible type of pain. He also said that I didn't need any pain relief or treatment. Let everything heal on it's own. 

The next day I was still in agony. I went to my ophthalmologist who treated it and put in a contact lens. She didn't want to do too much, because the appointment with the cornea specialist was that evening. The lens didn't hold very well but made it until that evening. The specialist replaced the lens with a therapeutic lens and said it would not come out until I had surgery. I asked how long that would be. He answered 'tomorrow.' He made a phone call and had a slot for me at Assuta Hospital in Tel Aviv for PKT surgery. 

I was in so much pain in the morning, I insisted on leaving more than 2 hours earlier than planned. As the surgeon doesn't show up before a certain time, arriving early didn't help. They tried to take the pictures needed for the surgery shortly after arriving. Unfortunately, my eye was not in good enough shape to be able to take the pictures. We then had the regular waiting time plus an additional two hours. 

The surgeon finally arrived. He had a very calming bedside manner and easily gained my trust and confidence. He agreed that I should have the surgery but not on that day. I needed my eyes to be healthy for a period of 2 weeks before the surgery. He also recommended that they do a PRK at the same time. There was no additional risk and it would correct my vision to the point of not needing glasses. We made an appointment for 3 weeks later. We also made sure that he would be the surgeon performing the surgery.

My eye healed and I was given approval for the surgery. During the 3 weeks, I was afraid my eye would blow out again and paranoid that I could be stuck in bidud (quarantine). The day of the surgery arrived without any need for delays. 

First up were the pictures. I still had trouble opening my eyes wide enough, but they were able to get the images they needed.  Next up was the optometrist. It was a fairly rigorous exam, as they needed to make sure they got everything just right. At one point I was asked "Do you see 5 or 6 objects?' I answered 'I see 4 objects.' I proceeded to name identify them all to make sure everything was correct.

After all the preliminary exams, it was time to see the surgeon. He was happy with all the results and approved the surgery. I wasn't worried but it was still a moment of relief. I signed the waiver and was ready to go. They even made sure that we would get a English copy of the waiver.

We then went to pay the bill and get the detailed instructions for post-op, including lots of eye drops, activity restrictions, follow up appointments and the need to wear sunglasses for 6 months whenever in the sun. We were than directed to a corner in the clinic, to pick up a pair of sunglasses before heading to the pharmacy, followed by the waiting room for the actual surgery. 

At the beginning, I said I wanted to buy myself a pair of sunglasses without a prescription. In the corner there were 4 shelves filled with all kinds of different styles of sunglasses. I would say there were between 60 - 80 in total. As they are now the most expensive sunglasses I will ever own, it will be a while before I buy another pair. 

I am not going to describe the surgery. Suffice it to say that the doctor did a great job, guiding me through the procedure. It was just after he told me that he had finished the first section on my first eye that I realized, that I probably should have had my SOS anti-anxiety medication on board. When I walked out of surgery, I could see perfectly for about 60% of the field in front of me. About half an hour later the blurriness set in, as the healing process began.

I am now 10 days post-op. The recovery time is a lot slower and challenging than than I originally expected. I am making progress and learning to return to regular life step by step. I no longer have to put ointment in my eyes in order to sleep or fear that my eye is going to blow out at anytime. There are a lot of things I am looking forward to doing without glasses, including playing hockey. There are a lot more things to look forward to.

Uman - The Spiritual Crisis

 I was disturbed by the news stories today about the 1000 chasidim trapped in no mans land on the border between the Ukraine and Belarus. The Red Cross had to deliver humanitarian aid to those trapped by their own actions.  One report said that the people had refused to return to Belarus out of fear of being placed in mandatory quarantine guaranteeing they would not reach their destination on time. There are reported to be 2500 chasidim in total who made there way to Belarus unable to cross into the Ukraine by any means necessary. All this to spend Rosh HaShannah at the grave of Rebbe Nachman. 

 Like many of my friends, I am rather baffled by the entire situation. After giving it some thought, maybe I am not as baffled as I would like to be. I can't speak for those who made the journey, but I have had influences in my life that could of/or did put me in equally baffling situations. 

When I was in Yeshiva, we went to the Aish HaTorah Bible Codes seminar. While most of the program is devoted to preparation and understanding of the context and significance of the codes, the inability to use them to predict the future etc... the cool part is the codes. 

The next morning one guy walks into our pre-morning seder shiur, talking about all the cool codes. Our Rebbe wasn't impressed. So he told him another and another. Still not impressed. Finally, our Rebbe stops to explain his position. One day there is going to be a code that doesn't work as expected. If these codes are the foundation of your beliefs, your entire belief system is going to crumble with it. 

When I came back from Yeshiva, I didn't feel I was in a position to be an advisor in NCSY. I didn't have enough belief in myself. Years later, we tried to be actively involved in NCSY again. As we were not wealthy, we thought being role models through Shabbat guests would be a great way to be involved. Despite putting on pressure to be accepted, we were never approved. On one occasion trying to understand the reasons for being rejected, the comment was made that perhaps we wouldn't tell a kid to go to Israel. I am long past being emotionally attached to that statement, but it has given me reason to pause and reflect.

I believe in Hashem, Torah, mitzvot and the Jewish People. For me that belief is anchored in truth. There have been many role models that have turned out to not be as righteous as people would think they were.  There are people who live the religious life while not thinking or acting in a religious way. While my faith has been shaken many times over the years, the acts of an individual acting inappropriately has not crushed my spirits. At the end of the day, people are people.

What happens if the foundation of everything you believe in is anchored into one person? What if everything you believe in down to your very core, beliefs that you have to be in Uman on Rosh HaShannah. Having that taken away from you, could be overwhelming at a level that I can't even imagine. Perhaps for some the only alternative to receiving Red Cross aid in no mans land, is a spiritual crisis at the very core of everything they believe. People will do anything to avoid such a crisis. 

For some in the Haredi world it is inconceivable that the State of Israel would be established by non-religious Jews.  Yet, here we are. The world doesn't always work in the way we think we should. I believe that our belief in Hashem has to stay strong, when he shows us that the world is not what his plan is. Did anyone living at the time of the destruction of the Beit HaMikdash really believe it was going to be destroyed. The mishna in Nedarim deals with cases of vows made that required the Beit HaMikdash only to discover it wasn't there anymore. 

For some, not being able to make it to Uman poses a heart breaking crisis of belief. I can't relate to that line of thinking. Perhaps the ability to blame others for failure to reach Uman is the only way for them to stay true to the person they are.

Mr Pretzels

 From time to time we end up spending a short period of time in Modiin. On those rare visits we have developed a tradition of meeting up with friends at Mr. Pretzels. I was really excited when I found out that Mr. Pretzels was opening at the Grand Canyon in Haifa. 

When it finally did open, I was disappointed to discover that they had decided to open without a teudat kashrut. I was even more disappointed when we found out more details from the store. The ingredients are the same across the entire chain, making the ingredients kosher. Despite the mall being open, Mr. Pretzel was closed on Shabbat. They just didn't want to pay for the supervision. Each and every time, we would walk by, I would give them a mean look in protest. Of course it didn't make a difference to them, especially since nobody would notice. Most of the time, if we were there, we wouldn't be in that part of the mall.

Before going back to school, we found ourselves in the Grand Canyon mall. As we were already there, we decided to check out a back to school promotion. The lines were huge. We ended up going in completely the opposite direction to avoid the crowds. All of a sudden I found that we were in front of 014Mr. Pretzels. I started to give them a mean glare. My eyes slowly shifted until they landed on the sign at the front. It was a teudat kashrut. They are now kosher. I was so excited. We were not able to stop and enjoy on that trip. It is something to look forward to on a future trip to the mall.

Birthday at Rosh HaNikra

It was my birthday, earlier in the week. I just wanted to get out of the apartment and do something that didn't involve walking around a shopping mall. We decided that it was a perfect day to take the 40 minute drive to the Lebanese border to witness 'a love story between the rock and the sea.'  At least that is what the signs said. After years of keeping it on our family to do list, we visited Rosh HaNikra.

We called ahead to make sure it would be family friendly and Corona safe. Although they said it was best to wait until the end of the day, we decided that we would go with enough time to enjoy our day and still be home at a reasonable hour. 

We arrived to find the parking lot closed. Cars were scattered up and down the roads. We took a short drive up the road, just past the sign warning that the border was up ahead. We were able to find parking that wasn't to far away from the entrance to the parking lot. 

View of parking lot from our car

 

We knew which direction to walk. We eventually found our way to the area for purchasing tickets for the cable car. We also decided to upgrade our tickets for an extra activity quasi off the beaten path. We were told that the cable car would be limited to 7 passengers and that it would be an hour wait to get to the bottom. So we headed over to the line, which was staggered into 3 sections. Staff walked through the line at regular intervals to make sure that everyone was still wearing their masks. We also saw some police officers who would have had the authority to issue the 500 NIS fine for not wearing them correctly.

The view while waiting in line

They were not joking about the wait times. We eventually made it onto the cable car, down to our destination. By that point it was lunch time and we were all really hot. We bought a few cold drinks and found a nice quiet spot, on astroturf with umbrellas to offer us shade. 

After lunch it was time to go into the grottoes.  They were absolutely breathtaking. The only issue I had was that there were way too many people who thought they were super models. Their efforts to take the perfect picture, inconvenienced everyone else. It was well worth it. 

After we finished in the grottoes, we walked through a tunnel. The tunnel was built by the British in 1942 to connect Beirut and Haifa, to allow the transfer of military supplies. It was blown up in 1947 to prevent Arab fighters from being able to reach Haifa. 

Shlomo spent the walk telling Hoodie and anyone who would listen that trains used to be here and then they turned it into a museum.

At the other end of the tunnel, our chariot was waiting for us. OK, it wasn't a chariot, it was a golf cart. We had rented it for 45 minutes as something fun and different to do. We were allowed to drive it as far as the nearby beach.  Peri and I took turns driving around and the kids also had fun checking out the area in our slow moving vehicle. Did you know that Israel has trailer parks? We also saw a tent, set up in the kids park, near the beach. I wonder what the story was there. 

From there it was back into the much shorter line up the cable car. We stopped for ice cream at the top. We then headed back to the car to pack it in for the day.  We made it home in time for dinner. 

I had a really great birthday. It was a really fun family tiyul.

Food Distribution - Shlomo the Forklift Operator

The local Food Gemach takes care of families that struggle to provide themselves with the basics. They operate out of the local Bnei Akiva snif. They provide weekly food basics for families in Kiryat Shmuel and Kiryat Chaim. Funding is provided by the city of Haifa. All those receiving a basket are approved by the city social worker. The size of the baskets vary based on family size. Families are supposed to pay a nominal fee for the baskets. I have learned from the few times I have done deliveries that the fee is either waved or payment is delayed. 

There are multiple steps in the preparation and distribution of the baskets.  There are various shifts over a period of two days to take all the steps to pack and deliver the baskets. Normally Shlomo volunteers for the afternoon shift after Gan. His shift involves packing items that are added to the baskets at the very end. He also takes pride in bringing the empty boxes out to the dumpster. When the country went into lockdown, his volunteering temporarily stopped. 

Peri's role with the gemach is to pick up certain food items for the main distribution centre for the Haifa area. Shlomo has been waiting to help out his Eema. However, today was the first time he had an opening in his busy schedule. 

Shlomo was very busy, learning about how the facilities work and the important job they do. He was not afraid to help pitch in. He drove the forklift to empty the garbage bins. After a hard morning work, he was given a fresh peach to cool off on a hot day. 

I Can See A Nose, Can You?

Peri and I took Hoodie with us as we were running errands. One of those stops involved the doctors office. Hoodie and I did a couple of near by errands, while Peri waited for her appointment. When those were finished, I took Hoodie to the park behind the doctor's office. Hoodie went around and tried out all the different activities. She eventually climbed the ladder up to the slide. To her dismay, she discovered that the ground was made up of ropes. There was no smooth surface to walk across to the slide. This would never do. 

As soon as she was back down on the ground, she says 'This is not a good park for me.' and begins to walk away. The only practical option was to head up to the waiting area with Peri.

Hoodie was really excited to be with her Eema. She decided to invent a new game to play, that has now been named,  'I see a nose.'  If someone wasn't wearing a mask properly, she would say 'I see a nose.' If a person was wearing a mask properly, she would give them a thumbs up.  She finished playing when she could no longer find any more noses.

The Mousse Barber

Shlomo and I went for haircuts. Normally a haircut would not be an interesting activity.  These are not ordinary times. Earlier this week, they made hair gel in Gan/Camp. He had it in his hair and brought home a small container as well. I guess it is better than slime. He was super excited. Within half an hour of him arriving home, another parent from a different Gan that did the same activity said that their kid's hair was falling out. We had our doubts about the connection but decided the right thing to do was to rinse it out right away.

When Shlomo finished his haircut, he asked the barber for hair gel. Our barber doesn't believe in hair gel. However, he does use mousse.  He put mouse in Shlomo's hair and he put about a quarter of a cup of  mousse into a plastic cup to take home. After my haircut Shlomo insisted that the barber put some in my hair as well.

I really needed the haircut, so I am happy. Shlomo was really happy with mousse.