Normally, when I go the cemetery it is just me and the construction workers. As the keep adding new sections, I sometimes wonder if I am going to have trouble finding Rachel's spot. They added in a bench with shade near her that I am now need to use as a landmark.
The parking lot was full and there were a lot of people coming and going. People from all walks of life connected by the reality that none of us can escape. There was a kid running through the cemetery collecting for something or other. People were lighting Yizkor candles. (Note to self: I should look into if I should be following this custom, which I am not really familiar with). One of Rachel's newer neighbours had a really tall stone. The height was perfect for putting her head down and weeping. There were people with sponges and water washing the stones. It felt like I was surrounded by people who have had this ritual for who knows how long, all doing their all thing, all united in the understanding that we know what it is like to experience death.
I took care of the outstanding balance that I had withheld until the spelling mistake had been corrected. I walked in and he knew exactly how much money I owed him. He forgot his receipt book, so I ended up getting the receipt on a scrap piece of paper.
There were also tables set up. There were tables collecting tzedakah, someone selling Yahrziet candles and matches. There were at least 3 tables set up for Kaparot (2 chicken options an a non-chicken option).
Yom Kippor is going to be a lot more complicated than I would like this year. At least I have a lot to be proud of and a lot of good things to be looking forward to.
1 comment:
Dear Jason ...
Even in sorrowful times , you have the opportunity to MOVE forward !
It will always be a loss for you and Channah , and I do know that you will move on ... I will NEVER have another RACHEL in my life !!! We all have lost !
You are and will move forward .
Your life will rebuild itself ! never forget what you had and what RACHEL has given you and all of us !
I wish for you and CHANNAH only good and happiness as you move forward ! Love , MOM M..anu
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